OCD: Obsessive Coffee Disorder

You just know you found the one when it’s all steaming hot, intoxicating and just the thought of staying apart makes you want to kill yourself. That’s exactly how I feel about the love of my life: Coffee. (Sorry human of mine. I still love you <3)

love

Here’s my caffeine addiction story and my ongoing struggle and thoughts about trying to get over it.

I’ve liked coffee since the first time I ever had it. I appreciated the taste and aroma and would have a pretty milk-heavy cup regularly. Although I liked the experience, I never felt like I needed it to survive. One day it all changed.

If you’re anything like me (honestly, it’s not that convenient so let’s hope you’re not), you know how urinary bladder control is not your best skill and when you gotta pee, YOU GOTTA PEE. On one of these ‘Man I really gotta pee but I don’t want to in a freaking metro washroom’ days, I decided that it’d be convenient to go grab a drink and a bite at the nearest Starbucks and use the restroom too. WORST. DECISION. OF. MY. LIFE. (Although you gotta give it to Starbucks for having squeaky clean restrooms :D)

That was the day I realized that coffee is motherfucking amazing and so began my intense love affair. I started with the light stuff(you know, lattes and macchiatos)  until a few weeks later I was having double shot espressos like it was water. I’d go there every single day till the staff at my usual Starbucks started recognizing me and knowing my order. Being the socially awkward person that I am, I was scandalized by this and decided to GTFO as fast as I could. Coffee was my drug and Starbucks was my dealer. And you never have a personal relationship with your dealer. Ever. This was my chance to quit it for good. But now that I was so deep into it, I did the exact opposite and just decided to change the Starbucks I usually went to. And now they recognize me here too.

fuck this im out

Like it happens in every other unfaithful affair, my primary bae came to know about this and insisted that I quit it ASAP. I was sad and angry and after thinking about it for ages I decided that since I give quite a few fucks about him I should listen to him and try to get over coffee.

I had no idea that’d it’d be so tough for me and  that I’d face a daily struggle at Starbucks’ door. It’s been a month and I still can’t do it easily. I have withdrawal symptoms so strong that I feel like I’m pregnant(insane cravings, headaches, nausea, massive mood swings, non-existent bioclock. I’m too scared to get a pregnancy test kit at this point).

But I’m getting there. In tiny steps, sure, but I am. I have just one coffee free drink(Vanilla cream ftw) now. I try not to show up at Starbucks more than thrice a week. And I have a strict no coffee policy at home.

success

tl;dr, here is my top tip for getting over a coffee addiction: DON’T DO WHAT I DID. Stay the fuck away.

say no

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